The First Step Of Grief In We Were Liars

BOOM! Just like that little Billy’s life is taken from him in a car accident. Billy was loved by so many and such a pure soul but his life was taken away too soon. The heartbroken mother of Billy is experiencing pain like no other and this pain is called “Grief”. In a book titled We Were Liars, author E. Lockhart tells a story of the Sinclair family that looks golden on the outside but on the inside has many problems. Main character and narrator Cadence Sinclair has a shocking accident and tries to put the pieces together to remember what exactly happened. Cadence deals with grief throughout the story and the process she goes through can be tied to the four steps of grief. Throughout the course of the book We Were Liars, the recurring concept

Cady’s mother Penny Sinclair or Mummy tells her, “Be normal, now, she said. Right now. Because you are. Because you can be”(Lockhart, 2014, 6). Penny is telling Cady to deny the fact that she is unwell and to act normal. This relates to the first step of the grieving process: denial. Denial is the first step in the grieving process and is seen as the first sign of the start of grieving. A journal article over the grieving process called WHY WE MUST LOOK AT GRIEF says, “One way to tell if someone is in denial is by the way they talk. Phrases like, “He isn’t gone, or he’ll be back” or “That never happened” are basic signs of denial” (Soffer, 2022). Denial signs can be direct or indirect, but recognizing when someone is in denial is very important. Cady has another instance towards the end of the book where she is in denial over the fact that she won’t be able to see Gat again. Cady narrates, “Then he takes off, and I cannot bear to be seperate from him, and I think, this cannot be the end”(Lockhart, 2014, 242). Denial can lead to anger in the situation at hand and in this case, Cady takes the next step in the grieving process which is

A lot of the anger that is built up when grieving is from confusion. Sanjana Gupta, a licensed clinical psychologist writes, “In this stage, people question why something occurred and express outward anger” (Gupta, 2022). People tend to ask themselves questions like, “Why does this have to happen to me?,” or “What could I have done to prevent this?” The unknown reasoning for why things happen the way they do ultimately leads to the state of anger. An article written about the anger stage of grief says, “Once the individual has stopped denying that the loss has occurred, the reality of the situation begins to set in, bringing additional confusion, frustration and pain. The mind and body begin to deflect the pain, expressing it instead as anger”(Second Stage of Grief: Anger, 2023). In this stage of the grieving process, people tend to act upon their emotions that they feel from the situation. Like most instances, Cady acts upon her emotions built up from her accident and takes her anger out on her mother. Lockhart writes about an instance where Mummy is checking up on her, “Don’t hover,” I tell her. “I love you. I’m taking care of you,” she says, her hand on her heart. “Well, stop it.” If I could shut my door on her, I would”(Lockhart, 43-44). Cady doesn’t want to see her mother and her emotions reflect her actions when she narrates that she would close the door on her because she isn’t happy with the way she hovers over her.