In this reflective essay, “James & Gilliland (2016: 9) defines crisis as the perception or encounter of a stressful event or situation as an intolerable difficulty that surpass the person’s current resources and coping mechanisms, a crisis has the ability to cause serious emotional, behavioral and cognitive malfunctioning up to the point of harm, unless the individual attain support”. This definition of crisis is relevant to my experience of growing up without a father throughout my childhood. There were many difficulties and struggles that not only myself but my family have experienced that has had an effect on our lives. In this paper, it will describe and analyse my crisis and how it has affected me and my relationships with others. Further on, it will explore how I learnt to cope and heal as well as to forgive.

The crisis
What enabled me to write about this traumatic period in my life was because it has affected me in many ways that I never knew were possible. Only until four years ago have I really wondered and thought about growing up in a fatherless household and how that has impacted me and my relationship with others. My father was not completely out the picture, but he was not a constant fixture in the lives of my mother, sisters and myself. “Systemic crisis is a traumatic experience that individuals and institutions are overwhelmed and response systems, both physical and psychological reactions are incapable of successfully maintaining and controlling the