Gabbs,
First off, I want to apologize for keeping silent for nearly the last 5 months. I want to go into detail as to why I have, and maybe you will understand.
Back during my high school freshman year, me and Destiny dated as you well know. During that time, everything was perfectly fine, then we broke up for the first time. And we continued on as friends until we got back together. And then we broke up again. But, this time it was WAY different. We didn’t talk again except for a single time after the breakup. And then, about a week after, there were rumors about me sprouting from the breakup that put me in a bad light. This hurt me a LOT. Ever since then, I’ve been scared of dating, and even more scared of breakups. I know in my mind
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But, she and I were best friends, just like us. And after she and I were over, I realized that after she moved, ‘Oh shit, I lost a best friend’. And I was wounded. I CANNOT lose another best friend. I refuse to.
More than just that, I have lost a best friend EVERY year of high school. Freshman year was Destiny. Sophomore year was Melissa. Both of these effected everyone within my friend group, and my groups kept on splitting. Junior year had no effect on anyone but myself, but T.J. went of to college. And Senior year, well, we all graduated, and I will not see most of my ‘friends’. I’ve lost contact with people such as Patrick, Bragg, and my underclassman friends.
You had always been there for me more than just about any other friend that I had. I could come talk to you about literally ANY issue that I had. And you would listen and help me. You were the only person I felt comfortable talking to any of this about. I don’t talk about my feelings, and I will explain why in a little down. I owe it to you, because I had told you that I would a while back, and I never did. But, you have been such a good friend, and I do not want to lose you as one. I cannot just necessarily go back so easily as I said before, but PLEASE do not think that I have been trying to ignore you. I have just been scared shitless of trying
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I just didn’t have the guts or ability to bring myself to talk to you. I was quite scared. But, I am not giving up on trying, and I hope that you aren’t.
This is the end of me describing my silence, so if you want to quit reading, that is fine. But next is my going on to why I don’t talk about my feelings.
But, if you are