From the youngest age I have always felt different. Of course i 'm sure every child feels special, but there was something more to it. I felt like people didn 't see the real me, i felt a very strong dissociation with people 's perception of me. Everyone saw me as a cute little girl, but I didn 't feel that way. I didn 't want to be cute, much less a girl. I always assumed something was wrong with me, the theories of why I was the way I was changing over the years. There was naturally the science experience theory, and later on the idea of being intersex got tossed around a bit. It 's amazing that will all of these theories I never once realized i was transgender.
One of my earliest memories is sitting in the bathtub, shampoo pressing all of my hair to my head, pretending I was a boy. It was just an innocent and fun pass time, i didn 't realize all the controversial debates that came with actions like this. Many transgender people say their childhoods were horrible and they suffered from depression from an early age, my experience wasn 't like that. I didn 't mind being called a girl or by my birth name, but being a boy just felt right. It was a certain warmness that burst
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With intersex being out of the picture, my young mind began to go even greater links to determine what was wrong with me. From as far as I can remember I 've always been a bit of a paranoid person. Now I can not for the life of me remember how I actually convinced myself of this idea, but around eleven or twelve, I began to think that doctors may have sabotaged my mother 's pregnancy. When my mother was pregnant with me her doctor got my due date wrong, causing me to be born at least a few weeks early. Making me a premature baby, just without the premature tacked on the beginning. I figured if they got the date wrong, who 's to say they didn 't mess something else up too? I googled the possibilities of gender change late in a pregnancy, and began tp question my mother. I’d ask