I spent the majority of my childhood years in a small town named Edgemere. I am the third of four children. My mother is a retired Educator. My father is a selfless hardworking man who worked two jobs for as long as I can remember, but he is also an alcoholic. I have a loving family but I have experienced many challenges due to my father’s alcoholism. At times, I felt unsafe because of the wavering stability and structure in my household. I was constantly searching for “normal” and emotional peace. I remember cleaning the house thoroughly to please my mother. I loved to see her happy. To ease the struggles she went through.
I fantasized about how my life would be once I went away to college. As the opportunity arrived; the fantasy did not
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I did some research and stumbled upon articles discussing Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA’s). The readings helped me understand the impact associated with my upbringing. The prevalence of individuals impacted by an alcoholic family member is widespread. Current statistics determine that nearly 76 million Americans have been exposed to alcoholism in the family (1). I discovered that ACA’s demonstrate similar behaviors as a result of their upbringing, such as codependency (2). Codependency, as it relates to ACA’s, can be defined by several attributes. I identified with (a) being an assumed perfectionist, (b) being a people pleaser, and (c) being overly responsible to a point of fault. I was so focused on doing everything right, I worked myself — tirelessly, but mainly to get approval from others. I was the people pleaser who attempted to fix everyone’s problems; a task which encompassed an enormous amount of responsibility, leading to high levels of stress. All of these attributes led to the inability for me to see my own faults because I was more concerned with what others thought of me.
Self-awareness was a critical aspect of my journey towards self-improvement. When I identified the less than favorable trends in my behavior, I made adjustments. I redirected my thought process and committed daily to be my best self. I exercised opportunities to be my own cheerleader because I understand that my mind is my most powerful tool. I focused on my