Amory Monologue

What do I know to be true? I know that throughout my four years at St. Mary's Ryken I've battled with the idea of God, academics, life and myself. To explain further, going to a Catholic school where you're the minority, and also a female challenges you to know yourself and believe in yourself. In order to survive at SMR you must be firm in your traditions, morals and life-goals and most importantly you must be honest with yourself. During my freshman year, I just wanted to fit in. I wanted to identify with different groups of people, and not only the minority group. I didn't want people to only know me as the “smart black-girl who plays basketball.” I really didn't feel like I belonged here. Now it's the end of my senior year, and I know where

Scott Fitzgerald deals a lot with life, personality, and coming of age. However, the one thing that spoke to me most was when Monsignor Darcy explained to Amory Blaine the difference between personalities and personages. According to Darcy, “A personality is what you thought you were, what this Kerry and Sloane you tell me of evidently are. Personality is a physical matter almost entirely; it lowers the people it acts on” (108). To explain, your personality is the superficial part of you, which is your appearance. For Darcy, your personality is not what matters in life. It's the spirit behind the personality that matters, which brings us to his concept of the personage. Personage is what you do and what you stand for, which are your morals and values in life. My high school experience is essentially a “Coming of Age” tale like Amory’s. In this tale, I’ve grown from a naive 14 year-old girl into a confident 18 year-old young woman. Darcy helped me realize you must abandon the idea of superficiality and how you want to appear to others. Just be yourself! Stop worrying about being accepted; who cares what people think! I learned I need to embrace my personage, which are my actions and values. This is the stuff I can't change for others. Personage leads to what you want to do in life, which is your future. Essentially, your personage will lead you to success and not your appearance. What I know to be true is that your beliefs, goals and heart matter in this world because it makes you who you are. I rather be a good person, than just a good-looking