Interpersonal Conflicts: A Comparative Analysis

What happens when you combine people from a variety of backgrounds filled with all sorts of beliefs, personalities and ambitions? Conflict. And there is no other place on earth where this could be truer than in the church. The church is the melting pot of people from every angle of society and is destined for conflict because of her diversity. However, conflict is not always bad. In fact, as Talya Bauer (2010) states, conflict can lead to better ideas, the revealing of inaccurate information, the unleashing of creativity and increased learning. Yet in many cases, just the opposite happens—especially in the church. Many times, conflict brings the mission of the church to a halt. In other words, people in conflict tend to stop doing what Jesus

Please, because you belong to the Lord, settle your disagreement” (Philippians 4:2, New Living Translation). In this verse, Paul does not diminish their conflict, yet rather puts the conflict in light of their relationship with Jesus. Often disagreements begin with either an intrapersonal conflict; in which an individual feels something is not right about themselves, or an interpersonal conflict, where the do not get along with another person (Bauer, 2010). In this situation in Philippi, it would be safe to assume that they are experiencing an interpersonal conflict, yet it may have begun when one of the women lost sight of Jesus. Perhaps intrapersonal conflicts lead to interpersonal conflict. However, one of the most common types of conflicts which may be true of Euodia and Syntyche is simple personality differences; which would include the way they “think and act” (Bauer, 2010). Yet at the same time, in compatible goals could have caused them to disagree. For instance, of their goals could have been for the church of Philippi to serve the poor while the other’s goal was to teach the Bible. In addition, their conflict could have simply been about limited resources, which would create competition between the two of them and lead to greater conflict (Bauer, 2010). In every case, the conflict between these two women is possible, yet their conflict does not need to

For example, Paul could have quoted Jesus when he proclaimed, “So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God” (Matthew 5:23-24, New Living Translation). Clearly, Jesus was saying that reconciliation is more important than making a sacrifice in worship, because conflict gets in the way of the worship. Similarly, Paul wrote to the church in Colossi, “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (Colossians 3:13, New Living Translation). Once again, the command to resolve conflict through forgiveness is highlighted. Also, Peter told the early church to “Be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude (1 Peter 3:8, New Living Translation). Conflict keeps people from sympathy and unity, yet humble attitude is key to resolving conflicts. Finally, Paul wrote to these two women (and the rest of the church), “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others,