It started at a very young age, the mood swings. I went from psychologist to psychologist referring me to different psychiatrist. I was not labeled bipolar for I was too young. Soon enough came my teenage years, still not any better, still lost and still confused. Most psychologist said, "I was just going through a teenage phase, I was a troubled teen because of the absence of my father or I was a troubled teen because I was too spoiled". Later on came my adulthood, still unstable, still lost and still confused. Why hadn 't my phase gone away? Why was my condition worse? Why did I have this rage inside of me? How could I become so sad, so deeply uninvolved for no apparent reason? How did I lose track of time? How did I manage to not sleep for days? When did I become capable of being unstoppable? Where did all these scars come from? I had little answers and I hate little support. When would someone be able to tell me what is going on with me? I was no longer a child, I was no longer a …show more content…
It was 21 years of living with being Bipolar , 21 years living without medication, 25 years fighting myself to be different, 25 years in chaos and 1 year and counting trying to figure how to make a living with my diagnosis worthwhile. My name is April and I am bipolar. This has been the most chaotic journey I have been through. Several suicide attempts, sleepless nights, hibernation, low self-esteem, high self-esteem, drugs, cutting, hating myself, anxiety, postpartum depression and mental institutions. So here I am a little bit less lost, a little bit less chaotic, a little happier and little bit more confident that one day I will reach control and happiness. It has not been an easy journey, I am still working on it but discovering the love for myself and the love of my child I will be okay. Day by day, Night by night, I will beat this because I am capable and I am no longer apologetic about being bipolar, nor