As the first born daughter, leadership was given to me as a sort of inalienable right. In my family I never had to work for leadership, I certainly never had to be a good leader, I just had to reaffirm my claim by yelling out “I’m the big sister! Listen to me!” I suppose this began as a leadership gained by age and experience. I had no other claim to this leadership, though, and I became a bit of a dictator. I established myself as the judge and final voice in every disagreement. When all else failed, I punished the plebeians for their misbehavior by removing them from my presence (in short, pushing them out of the room and locking the door). I was the sole reigning monarch of the playroom and I relished my position. Yet, I took this position …show more content…
Although I would do almost anything I was asked inside I was questioning everything the leaders would do. I didn’t have the tools to be a leader but I lacked the ability to truly follow. So, in high school I refused to say anything contradictory to others; meanwhile, I also refused to do anything I didn’t agree with or simply didn’t like. Thus, I became a loner. I had friends but I was very disconnected from them. I would go somewhere if I was invited but I would never plan anything. I was with others but I wasn’t one of them. I had completely abandoned my goal of leadership and with that abandoned community. Then, senior year I decided to take up leadership again in youth group. This time I understood it was something that took work, and so I worked. I asked to be a part of everything and even led discussions and helped with the leading of events. Yet, I was still a terrible …show more content…
In fact, the more I served my grandparents the more they controlled my every decision. One day when I felt guilty for even going to church, I realized that something had to change. At that time an old friend of my parent’s, Almira, had taken me under her wing. While she served others she also exemplified self-leadership. Almira was a strong woman who led without ever giving a single command. Instead, she motivated herself to become a better teacher, a better missionary, a better mentor, and a better friend. She made connections by motivating herself to meet new people and go to new places. In short, a self-leader pushes himself or herself to create goals and uses self-discipline to make those goals happen. (Humphry, 2014, p. 233) Once I realized that a good leader needs to improve themselves first, I left Russia to further my education so, through leading myself, I could finally lead others