I didn’t cry. I wasn’t shaking or fearful. I was numb to the core. I suppose I’d preparing for a moment like this my whole life. Just in case something went wrong. Just in case. The man driving the car cackled at his own jokes. I didn’t laugh. I got the witticisms, but I thought that it was cruel of him to laugh in this situation. Maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh, though. Maybe the plump, low-voiced fellow thought it’d make me feel better. I don’t know how I feel, I just know I don’t feel better. It seemed like forever I was in that car. It had to have been less than ten minutes, though. I was searching for the moment where it all went wrong. Haha, it must’ve been the moment I was born. All I know is that I didn’t do anything—at …show more content…
Well, there was one main one. I turned on the radio, hoping to kill the silence. As soon as it came on, I switched it to my favorite channel and hoped my mother would leave it there. But, my mother never leaves anything alone. Ha, whose mother does? I was stumbling in and out of slumber for the remainder of the car ride. Once we were there, she shook me, “Get up!” “Get the hell up right now, Jane!” My mom dragged me by the hair out of the car. It didn’t hurt. It didn’t hurt anymore. I had become desensitized to hair pulling, punching, all of the like. It was the way the moonshined and it was becoming the way the sun did too. I broke away from my mom once outside. The sun was still shining, there was dirt and gravel beneath my feet. It was a hot, humid day in Dixon apparently. I trudged behind her, uncaring and fairly dreary. We entered the facility. The lady at the counter eyed us and my mother wandered over to her. While they were discussing certain information, I rested in a corner chair. It was hard and an repellent shade of green, with the inconsistent pattern of diamonds. I didn’t fall asleep this time. It seemed like forever in the waiting room. And it really had to be forever this …show more content…
She groaned in annoyance and strolled back to the corner where the machine was. Soon, I finished and he nodded. “I believe you.” I looked at him wryly. I’d be surprised if he actually did. I exhaled, exhausted, “You really do?” “Yes, I do. You need to find a way to stay away.” I shrugged, “It’s impossible. I’ve tried. I cried. I almost died.” “Then stop looking for emergency exits. Just look for exits.” “I tried, okay?” “Try harder.” Frustrated, I erected myself up, “I shouldn’t have to try! It’s not my fault! It never was! I don’t care if you believe me or not.” “I know, I know. Sit down.” He tried to soothe me, but I was inconsolable. “No, you don’t! Do you honestly think I’ll take advice from you?” “You will,” He began, sternly, “if you don’t want anymore silver bracelets.” “I don’t care about that. I never, ever did. I just wanted someone to believe me. I just wanted someone to really believe me.” “You have it the wrong way around, Janie.” “I don’t care.” “You have too. That’s why so many of the guys are in here. You have to care about that.” “I don’t care, Uncle