I always thought that I was “too awkward” and that I wouldn’t be able to “fit in.” Keeping to myself and to a few friends would be the best option for me. Or so I thought. Over the years, I had let many opportunities pass in fear of being different. My choices left me with regret to the point that all I can think about is how I should’ve said yes. Something needed to change if I wanted to stop being overly obsessive with how people thought of me.
My first step was my mindset. I needed to stop being over-conscious with being judged. People live in the present and it is in the present that you will make memories that you’ll look back into in the future. By not stepping up and later regretting your decision, when you look back, you would only see regrets rather than joyful memories. I needed to understand that if I keep living for fear of being judged, I wouldn’t be pursuing anything I want in the future. With a changed mindset, I was ready to start opening up.
Step two: taking action. As every journey would start, I took baby steps. Looking up whenever I walked, joining in on classroom oral lessons and talking with my peers, whether they were a close friend or not. It’s been over a year since then and I’ve taken larger steps like trying out for volleyball. Even though my heart was thumping against my chest
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Talking in front of people was never “my thing” and even having conversations was hard for me. After experiencing more than one opportunity slip past me, I knew I didn’t want to be like this anymore. Even now, my past still haunts me. However, that is overshadowed by my promise to change in highschool. Primary and middle school doesn’t matter anymore; what matters is now and the future. I’m slowly reaching out to different activities and communicating more openly with my friends and family. Even though my heart may skip a beat or my breath is knocked away, I look forward to stepping up and taking ahold of