Personal Narrative: Surviving A Zombie Apocalypse

The number one key to surviving a zombie apocalypse: Always be paranoid. If there is one thing that all those crazy stupid zombie movies have taught me is, if you are not extremely cautious you end up getting your face ripped off by a super-ugly, radioactive, mutated, insane animalistic beast that has knives for hands. I don’t know about you, but that is not the last thing I want to see before I die. Nor the way I want to die. I will be your Instructor, Trainer, Guide, and Guardian. You will survive… Hopefully. Although even if you survive, you will probably not come out in one piece. Whether you are missing an arm or you are missing your sanity. That’s the spirit! Now I will try not to be to morbid, but it is the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! Nuff said. Now there are many, many things you need to know, have, and do. To begin with, the most important thing to know: what kind of zombies are they? Is there intent to eat your brain or to eat

There are so many things you need. I have some advice for this. Loot everything. You need to take even more than you can carry. Everything has a use. Walmarts are hot spots. Alright you will need so many things you might just want to skim over the following. Water purifier for obvious reasons. Night vision goggles, so while everyone else is getting mauled because they have flashlights you are totally un-mauled. A car, preferably a quit one, because it will attract zombies if it is loud. A silenced weapon, because it will attract even more zombies if you fire a weapon without a silencer. Some kind of close range weapon, like a knife or an axe. A dictionary will work to. Words really can hurt. If you do choose a dictionary, do yourself a favor and get a hard cover copy. You are going to need a flare to call for backup, or to draw zombies away from you. Also if you cannot find weapons, raid a rednecks house. If they haven’t left there house yet try to get them to join your cause. If not, well, leave them to the