Dear Professor Paschke-Johannes
My reason for writing this draft is because I was curious about how much parents should be involved with the education of their children's. I research this topic because as a child my parents were not very involved because of the language barrier between them and my teachers. My intended audience is adult more importantly those who are parents.
The way I revised my draft other than the feedback I was given was to add more transitions sentences, I also add more information to some paragraph that were lacking, meaning I also add more citations when necessary. I added more transitions in order for the reading to be more smoother, that way it did not cut abruptly to the next paragraph. Some paragraphs were lacking information so I added more info in to at least make my body paragraph equal size.
What I've learned is to not have too many paraphrase right after the another, you need to add some of your own thoughts as well, including you own opinions. If you add to may paraphrase it just you repeating what the author said, it's not bad to have many paraphrase as long as you have your own writing or words in between them.
Mary Rojas-Bueno
English 111
3/08/16
We can all agree
…show more content…
There will alway be things that stop us from achieving what we want. Parents have their own lives, they have to go to work, and may not have time to be involved. Some parents lack something they need, example: someone lack transportation or time, others are single parents. Some might have had bad experiences with schools or teachers and are reluctant to trust school for teachers(Greene, pg 242). However, there are ways to overcome these roadblocks. If you lack transportation make arrange with teachers so they can visit you whenever you have time. Those with parents who speak other languages have a hard time being involved with the schools since it's hard for them to communicate with each