Guaranteed by the Second Amendment of the United States’ Constitution, as interpreted by our Courts, is a Citizen’s Right to Bear Arms. According to the National Rifle Association and many other proponents of the Second Amendment, this argument is incontrovertible and no longer up for debate, and in the current political climate, I concede this point; however, I am not here to discuss the merits of a Citizen’s Right to Bear Arms, but rather a similar and much more controversial topic: The Right to Arm Bears! As a representative of the newly formed Squirrel Lobby, we state categorically and for the record, this idea is completely nuts! Like a logical philosopher, or any lobbyist worth their extravagant lobbying fee, let’s start by defining terms. A gun is a tool, a technological device that exists to solve certain problems. Inherently, guns don’t kill squirrels, but disgruntled bears do! Therefore, putting guns into the paws of angry bears, and by definition: all bears are angry, is not good for the selfless Squirrel population. And once a Squirrel is defined as a problem, the ultimate, final Squirrel solution will inevitably come out of the end of a gun barrel. Now, once a tool, or a gun, is selected for use, our thinking adapts; our world view changes; as does our moral analysis of using …show more content…
The simple Truth, according to Bears and Bear gun culture is that free Bears own weapons, slave-like Squirrels do not. It is the birthright of the Bear, in their role of shepherd and caretaker of the forest to own guns because there is no forest guardian; there is no omnipotent Bear protector; there is no defender against the savage Squirrel, except for the benevolent Bear and it is up to each individual Bear to ensure that he or she is prepared to meet whatever forest threat, foreign or domestic, is lurking in their