Why Do Victims Stay In Abusive Relationships

Many people believe that if a victim didn’t want to be abused then they would just leave the relationship however, according to the Domestic Violence Round Table there are several reasons why victims stay in an abusive relationship. The first reason victims stay in an abusive relationship is because of fear that their abuser may kill them or their children when they try to leave. In many abusive relationships, the most dangerous time for the victim is when they try to leave or when they leave and the abuser tracks them down to their new location that is why the location of many safe houses are kept confidential. The second reason why victims stay in an abusive relationship is because they believe it is their fault that the abuse is happening.

The sixth reason victims don’t leave is fear of losing the children. Abusers will often threaten the victim that they will call child protective services and report them if they try to leave leading victims to stay in the relationship because they fear that if CPS is contacted she may lose the kids because she stayed in an abusive relationship. The seventh reason for victims staying in an abusive relationship is because they feel it may cause emotional harm to the children by not being able to see their other parent when they leave and go into hiding. The eighth reason victims stay in an abusive relationship is because they are unaware of help. Because many abusers isolate victims by not allowing them to leave the home or monitoring them while on the phone or computer, victims usually don’t know about services until the abuse has gotten so bad that the police or another agency such as CPS or APS has become involved. So, while many people believe that it is easy for a victim to leave a domestic violence situation there are many reasons why they can’t or are reluctant

The first service that is available is shelters; this is where women and children who are under the age of 18 can go to have a safe place to sleep. The shelters usually provide the residents with toiletries, food, cleaning supplies and any other necessities they may need however the residents are responsible for cooking and cleaning up after themselves. The second service that is available to victims is counseling which is based on the feminist perspective and cognitive behavior therapy. The feminist perspective is used in a group setting and focuses on empowering the victim by reshaping their perceptions of self as a person of worth who can make choices for themselves. This therapy is done in a group setting to allow other victims to support one another. Cognitive behavior therapy is used in individual or group setting and consists of five phases. CBT helps victims replace distorted beliefs about themselves and their situations with more logical and useful thought. In the engagement phase the therapist and victim develop a relationship and create a safety plan. In the assessment phase the therapist assesses the victim’s current life circumstances and emotional state. In the goal identification phase the therapist helps the victim realize that they deserve a better life without abuse. In the action phase the therapist helps the victim