My paper starts off fairly strong by stating who Dillons is addressing along with the purpose behind the audience he is trying to reach and using quotes to back up what I am saying. The thesis continues following what I introduce and follows the build of the paper. The first paragraph could use some work. It starts off with a quote analyzing the rhetorical choice of statistic however it could go more in depth and take more consideration of how it impacts Dillons audience. The second quote I use however does not analyze and it turns the second half into summarization of the point Dillons was making. I plan on removing the beggining of the sentence that contains this quote along with the rest of the paragraph that pertains to ““National commision …show more content…
The points are all set up and made but they do not go into depth enough to make a solid argument of how impactful the people Dillon’s quotations of other people add credibility to his argument. By explaining the points i'm making and how they impact the audience it should add to my paper point rather than sounding like a side note. A small fix to improve the last body paragraph would be to touch up the transition into it instead of using “In the article there are many people, from corporate America and from educational writing places, referenced to make Dillon seem more credibility to his audience and make his argument more persuasive.”. The conclusion would wrap up the paper nicely if I had properly analyzed throughout the rest of the paragraphs. The foundations for a good Rhetorical analysis are there it takes into account the purpose, the audience, the rhetorical devices used, and the if they are used effectively or not; however it does not go into the depth needed about the points that are being made and show how they are impactful to the audience stated. I plan to leave the intro and closing paragraph alone for the most part and beef up the body paragraphs with more analysis while touching up grammatical errors when