Confronting Without Offending By Deborah Smith Pegues: Course Analysis

I have learned a lot this semester in this course. There were many great things that I have started to implement into my life when interacting with others in my ministry and vocation. One book that was influential is “Confronting Without Offending” by Deborah Smith Pegues. When working with individuals, it is imperative not always to think that confronting must be offensive. I have learned that listening is vital when dealing with others, and especially when dealing with conflicts. Listening has become a lost art in our communication efforts. As Pegues (2009) states, “By listening, we create a context or environment where people feel they have been heard and their thoughts or feelings have been validated” (p. 90). When I am listening to understand what the other person is saying makes conflicts that easier to address. I have learned that listening creates an atmosphere that is conducive to understanding and problem-solving. After reading this book, it has induced something in me to make a more conscious effort to understand what the other person is saying. As the Bible declares, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. For the wrath of man worketh, not the righteousness of God” (James 1:19). I must remember in all that I do; I must suitably exemplify God. Colossians 3:17 says, "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him."

During this conflict the other party was upset. Although, before reading this book, I did not allow people to get me out my character. However, before reading this book, I may change my tone when interacting. But, doing this recent conflict, I was cognizant of my tone and listening skills. Pegues (2009) states, “Tone is the external manifestation of your current state of mind” (p.