I grab hold of the cold hard back door knob, I twist to the left, and then to the right, a rush of guilt runs through my body and down to my toes. I think about my mom in her bed, what would she think of me right now, locked out, and sneaking in this late. I’m not everything they think I am. I think for a minute, I think of all the things that I was proud of in my life, all the things that I have done just to have it wasted by some dumb night. I stand there dizzy, I look to the ground and softly fall on the rough edges of our rug, look down my eyes crossed and looking in both directions. My head hits the wood on the ground, I sit there on the side of the deck look out in the wide open world, what do they see of me, they see a helpless, homeless …show more content…
One to many. I’m disappointed, I can feel it in my stomach if my mom heard about this she would be disappointed, not mad, just disappointed. More tears run down my face and crash as they hit the ground. I turn to my door, as I peak my head out I see darkness to the left, and darkness to the right. I close my door with a jolt, keeping all of the silence out in the hallway and all throughout the house. Walking to my bed I hear a door creek open, my eyes widen and I fall onto my bed pulling all of the covers over my body and some of my head. My door wants to be opened but can’t, “Hello? What is going on! Mike open this door right now!” I hear from the warm and soothing hall …show more content…
But, but, but… I stand up, and shove the chair under the table, with fear in my moms eyes I run up the stairs and slam the door to my room. I can’t believe this happened, I jumped on my bed and put my head into my pillow, my body is shaking, like someone injected 20 liter of caffeine into my body, my chest is heavy and it is hard to breath, my thoughts are scattered and I can’t get my mind strait. I Finally gathered my thoughts, they come together and a picture pops in my head. A picture of me, my mom, and my dad. I stare in my dad's eyes, wo where he is, and when he will return. I’m wearing a large sweater with a small tree with many colors on it, my mom and dad are wearing matching T shirts of santa claus giving away gifts, and I’m sitting on my dad's lap smiling at the camera. I popped a smile and a tear drags down my face. The picture fades away and is quickly gone. I smile again finally looking back enjoying all those old times I spent with my dad, all the things we laughed about and the ways we connected. I hear footsteps hovering up the stairs. I look over at the door, I see my mom. Standing, looking at me like I’m not her son. “Are you ok?” she asked as I cleared my