1) Your paper was good it had a lot of details and evidence. You also express your opinion on what being a lawyer is and what the requirements of become a good lawyer are. Your thesis was clearly and to the point. The only thing I will say try to address what question you are answering to “They Say, I Say “I did not know what question where you responding to. Try to incorporate the question in your introduction to help the reader understand your claim. 2) Your introduction is to long try to make it shorter and to the point. I think that you should pick your three main ideas to elaborate them in your paper. You have good ideas and detail throughout your paper but your introduction is too long. I think that, that can lead to your readers to get sound out of your paper if you do not go straight to the point instead of giving to much information in your introduction try to make your introduction paragraph between five-seven sentences instead of ten. 3) …show more content…
Try to just be brief about it with the main idea. To give your reader the idea of what being a lawyer is all about compare to another carrier. I think it was good that you mention in your second paragraph the things you have to do to become a lawyer and the process you have to go through to be a good lawyer but also try to incorporated more into your own view on why you want to be a good