College Admissions Essay: Working Against On The Soccer Field

I’ve had a constant internal fight about effort. Questions would be repeated in my head over and over. Why would I do this, when I could do that? Why should I try to just be disappointed in the end. I am aware that I need to be more disciplined and manage my time to avoid stress but I am not fully mature enough to act on my intentions. My joking, charming way, always the center of attention, is my way of covering up insecurities. If I am awkward and stressed, I joke.
I wonder if I will be truly accepted for who I am so I avoid the possible devastation and try to be someone else… anyone else that I think will be accepted. The worst part of the day for me is English class. I have nothing going for me. I feel like everything is working against

And as a center midfielder I feel like I do. I listen to other people and to try to be the leader who puts it all together. I am comfortable directing traffic and being directed when necessary. Everyone has a common idea of who a leader is and what a leader does. People do not like to be told what to do. But in the right circumstance people crave a firm leader to tell them what to do. The most efficient captains listen to everyone's opinion and have then understand a variety of viewpoints. But on the soccer field it comes down to instinct and belief in your decision. I am comfortable with

I would be more engaged and excited to go to class then already starting off on the wrong foot. I would try to perform on every assessment because the responsibility I held for my teammates would transfer over to taking care of myself first. There is a reason behind the message that no one pays attention to, putting on your oxygen mask first, before helping people around you. I would be more prepared for class just like ready for practice. How am I supposed to practice if I do not bring my cleats or water. That is equivalent to not being excited for class or not doing my homework. I approach history more like soccer. I get ready for the tests similar to preparing for games. But I slack off on the little things, not reviewing for quizzes like forgetting my cleats. I can watch practice but if I can’t participate I will not soak it in. I want to be on the pitch for every minute, I dread being subbed off. I need to be the soccer captain in the classroom for my success. It is a choice that I am aware of, but the next step is acting on my good