I think, mostly the selected words suit to the academic writing style, and they are appropriate to its rhetorical situation. However, through changing the selection of the words, I repeated the same contents unconsciously. Therefore, to avoid repetition, in the revised paragraph, I tried to deliver only the important message in one sentence. In addition, to put all information into one sentence, I had to choose the simple and the most suitable words to explain the information briefly. Also, when I focused on the rhetorical situation, I noticed that I should pick up some formal terms in order to make these sentences suit to the academic essay.
At the same time I included my Works Cited on the bottom of my essay. Another change that took effect was on my word choices, I decided to use synonyms to improve my writing. With that in mind, I decided to restructure many sentences in order to have a fluent writing from beginning to end.
Your essay is very clear for main idea. I cannot any points that you rambled off. I could not find what you likes and does not like…. I think you need to think about this when you revise!
When I read my previous papers, my first thoughts are always wondering how I improved. Ow that I’ve completed English 1302.710, I expected a change in my writing skills. After all, I did write a lot, especially in a type of writing that I wasn’t comfortable: Rhetoric. For the class, I had to learn to persuade my audience, do research, develop personal values, and use different kinds of expression in my writing. Even though I was just learning, I have met the objective of the course and what it teaches.
I have revised my thesis statement to two sentences, rather than one. This is so that my point can be understood in a more effective way. My thesis statement is as follows. “There should be more stringent screening processes for individuals wanting to own guns in the United States because the current laws and regulations do not require mental health background checks and evaluations. Too many people with mental health issues are slipping through the cracks and obtaining weapons and then using them on innocent people.”
The author’s writing style may suffer from occasional lapses of diction, tone, syntax, or organization. Although there may be some errors of grammar and spelling, overall the author demonstrates adequate control of language. C: This is the mediocre essay.
I am unsure how your teacher grades, so I edited to the best of my ability. Please read over the attached edited essay. You will see how I reworded some things for you. This will help you see and hear how to make your wording more powerful. I went ahead and indented your paragraphs, edited spacing, and edited font.
Are you prepared to make a statement? Are you ready to pull at your audience's heartstrings? Are your ready to appeal to a group of people who are different than you and think differently than you? If you are ready to help someone discover their inner power by making them think critically, then you have the right mindset when it comes to writing an argumentative essay! When forming the argument you will need a concrete thesis statement.
One writing task that I believe I did well on when writing the practice essay would be my use of structure. My thesis statement was clear as the introduction of my essay, explaining what my topic sentences will be pertaining to throughout the entire paper. One writing task that I believe I could work on is my development. I should have incorporated more details and ideas that supported every topic sentence that occurred. For example, in my essay I talked about my travels regarding the military, however, I barely scratched the surface of what new and exciting features about the places that I could’ve capitalize on.
There is little bit of thought you can put behind developing a thesis statement. For instance what elements are you going to use to develop a thesis, where will you place the thesis statement, and the types of evidence you will use to support your thesis.? When it comes to placing the thesis statement in your essay you can pretty much place in the beginning, the middle, or the end. (Connelly, 2013 ). The types of evidence that can also be used in supporting the thesis are facts, judgment, and testimony.
The introduction is understandable but I had to read the first sentence a few times before I could advance to the thesis statement. The introduction paragraph needs a clear sentence that grabs the attention of your readers. I enjoyed your thesis, but after reading your body paragraphs, it is hard to understand the first sentence in your introductory paragraph adding to support your main point. I was confused trying to figure out if your visit to the hospital was the results of a terminal illness or your wisdom teeth. A few clues utilizing speech in your narrative more, could give a clear understanding of the scene.
1. A thesis is a writer’s overall opinion about a specific essay topic every essay needs a thesis. 2. The job of an essay is to support the thesis and without a thesis an essay cannot do its job. 3.
In the future, I hope to teach English to ninth, tenth, eleventh, and twelve grade students. I understand that I will have students that have many different cultural and ethnic backgrounds, and I also understand that they will all respond to their successes and failures very differently. I want to be aware of the differences in the way the students achieve motivation and recognize a sense of self-worth, a sense of autonomy, address the need for relatedness, implement values and goals, and have attributions. One particular example of addressing motivation takes place within a tenth grade classroom. If I am teaching a lesson about how to create a thesis statement and the students are required to complete a worksheet for credit, many of my students
More often than not, a paper can either be good or bad, solely dependent upon how and when the paper’s thesis statement was written, and if it’s good or not. A good paper is written based off of a key idea, and that key idea is your thesis statement. Without it, your paper will make no sense to the reader, and it will be an unorganized mess. It’s similar to an outline, it helps you organize your thoughts, it gives you something to base your paper off of, and you plan it before you write your paper. Your thesis statement should be like the centerpiece for your paper, you want it to be visible and prominent for the reader to take note of, and be intrigued with.
To begin with, I have always considered myself an adept writer, however reading literature has never been an interest of mine until taking Composition II. For instance, most of the literature I have read has been required for one class or another. Furthermore, when I do pick up a book to read, I want to immerse myself into the story and momentarily lose touch with the reality around me along with possibly gaining a new viewpoint. On the other hand, when I read a book, this ability to immerse myself is lost when I am instructed to; analyze the characters, dissect the author’s writing elements, as well as consider the context and how it relates to another book or life’s issues. Therefore, I often find myself staring at my computer screen while
