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Thesis Statement

148 Words1 Pages
The essay fulfills the assignment as it is persuasive. Arguments presented are clear and well-supported. The thesis statement of my essay is focused and concise. The body paragraphs have a single unified idea which is expressed in the topic sentence, and supported by examples. The conclusion reflects the thesis statement and synthesizes supporting arguments. Writing is in appropriate academic style and register but the usage of transitional phrases can be improved to make reading comprehensible. The transitional phrase in the second paragraph was chosen mistakenly; thus, needs to be changed. There is a wrong word choice (usage of simple words) such as "because" which needs to be modified. Spelling errors need to be improved such as "14th century".
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I think, mostly the selected words suit to the academic writing style, and they are appropriate to its rhetorical situation. However, through changing the selection of the words, I repeated the same contents unconsciously. Therefore, to avoid repetition, in the revised paragraph, I tried to deliver only the important message in one sentence. In addition, to put all information into one sentence, I had to choose the simple and the most suitable words to explain the information briefly. Also, when I focused on the rhetorical situation, I noticed that I should pick up some formal terms in order to make these sentences suit to the academic essay.

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My favorite quotation from the book is, “He wished that he, too, had a wound, a red badge of courage. (PG.40)” When Henry saw a mob of men being shot, he ran over to see them. He saw blood on each person and envied them, as they have a red badge of courage and he doesn’t. This quote states that instead of being cowards in the war, the men fought, while Henry did not do anything.

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At the same time I included my Works Cited on the bottom of my essay. Another change that took effect was on my word choices, I decided to use synonyms to improve my writing. With that in mind, I decided to restructure many sentences in order to have a fluent writing from beginning to end.

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Your essay is very clear for main idea. I cannot any points that you rambled off. I could not find what you likes and does not like…. I think you need to think about this when you revise!

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When I read my previous papers, my first thoughts are always wondering how I improved. Ow that I’ve completed English 1302.710, I expected a change in my writing skills. After all, I did write a lot, especially in a type of writing that I wasn’t comfortable: Rhetoric. For the class, I had to learn to persuade my audience, do research, develop personal values, and use different kinds of expression in my writing. Even though I was just learning, I have met the objective of the course and what it teaches.

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686 Words | 3 Pages

I have revised my thesis statement to two sentences, rather than one. This is so that my point can be understood in a more effective way. My thesis statement is as follows. “There should be more stringent screening processes for individuals wanting to own guns in the United States because the current laws and regulations do not require mental health background checks and evaluations. Too many people with mental health issues are slipping through the cracks and obtaining weapons and then using them on innocent people.”

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1702 Words | 7 Pages

The author’s writing style may suffer from occasional lapses of diction, tone, syntax, or organization. Although there may be some errors of grammar and spelling, overall the author demonstrates adequate control of language. C: This is the mediocre essay.

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I am unsure how your teacher grades, so I edited to the best of my ability. Please read over the attached edited essay. You will see how I reworded some things for you. This will help you see and hear how to make your wording more powerful. I went ahead and indented your paragraphs, edited spacing, and edited font.

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684 Words | 3 Pages

Are you prepared to make a statement? Are you ready to pull at your audience's heartstrings? Are your ready to appeal to a group of people who are different than you and think differently than you? If you are ready to help someone discover their inner power by making them think critically, then you have the right mindset when it comes to writing an argumentative essay! When forming the argument you will need a concrete thesis statement.

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164 Words | 1 Pages

Third, my topic sentences supported my thesis statement and unified the paragraphs. Fourth, the contents of the essay as well as my transitional expressions were good enough to make the essay understandable and orderly. My conclusion is good enough too. As for the essay structure, I was able to use at least four of the MLA formatting guidelines, and the title of my paper was

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480 Words | 2 Pages

There is little bit of thought you can put behind developing a thesis statement. For instance what elements are you going to use to develop a thesis, where will you place the thesis statement, and the types of evidence you will use to support your thesis.? When it comes to placing the thesis statement in your essay you can pretty much place in the beginning, the middle, or the end. (Connelly, 2013 ). The types of evidence that can also be used in supporting the thesis are facts, judgment, and testimony.

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337 Words | 2 Pages

1. A thesis is a writer’s overall opinion about a specific essay topic every essay needs a thesis. 2. The job of an essay is to support the thesis and without a thesis an essay cannot do its job. 3.

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In the future, I hope to teach English to ninth, tenth, eleventh, and twelve grade students. I understand that I will have students that have many different cultural and ethnic backgrounds, and I also understand that they will all respond to their successes and failures very differently. I want to be aware of the differences in the way the students achieve motivation and recognize a sense of self-worth, a sense of autonomy, address the need for relatedness, implement values and goals, and have attributions. One particular example of addressing motivation takes place within a tenth grade classroom. If I am teaching a lesson about how to create a thesis statement and the students are required to complete a worksheet for credit, many of my students

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To begin with, I have always considered myself an adept writer, however reading literature has never been an interest of mine until taking Composition II. For instance, most of the literature I have read has been required for one class or another. Furthermore, when I do pick up a book to read, I want to immerse myself into the story and momentarily lose touch with the reality around me along with possibly gaining a new viewpoint. On the other hand, when I read a book, this ability to immerse myself is lost when I am instructed to; analyze the characters, dissect the author’s writing elements, as well as consider the context and how it relates to another book or life’s issues.  Therefore, I often find myself staring at my computer screen while

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Position statement: For college 　　　　Should I or should I not, that is the decision we all encounter when we finally reach high school. Now, there are many factors that will affect a person’s life. The most important of these factors is whether or not one has a college degree. Through out this essay I will discuss why I believe that it would be advantageous for students to continue their education in college. 　　　　I believe this because the unemployment rate (proven by FRED) among high school graduates is incredibly much higher than people that have graduated from college.

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