Thesis Statement

148 Words1 Pages
The essay fulfills the assignment as it is persuasive. Arguments presented are clear and well-supported. The thesis statement of my essay is focused and concise. The body paragraphs have a single unified idea which is expressed in the topic sentence, and supported by examples. The conclusion reflects the thesis statement and synthesizes supporting arguments. Writing is in appropriate academic style and register but the usage of transitional phrases can be improved to make reading comprehensible. The transitional phrase in the second paragraph was chosen mistakenly; thus, needs to be changed. There is a wrong word choice (usage of simple words) such as "because" which needs to be modified. Spelling errors need to be improved such as "14th century".